A Rose by Any Other Name


Sally likes to name and rename things. I hear stuff like this a lot:

“It’s the Fourth of Boo-lie, not July. Boo-lie and July, those rhyme!”

It’s a lot like listening to a drunk person. But in addition to renaming us things like “Fommy and Laddy” she also, like most kids, names her toys. Except . . . maybe I led a particularly simple childhood, but I remember names like “blacky” for a cat. Sally goes a little further than that, bordering on middle-Eastern and Chinese names. For example:

Fahdi Octopus Donkey — a yellow and blue octopus that isn’t even very cute gets referred to by his full name every time she plays with him.

Ganymede — a doll named after one of the moons of Jupiter. What, is that weird?

Mac-and-Cheese Chocolate Fried-Chicken — this is the doll formerly known as “Lan-kai.” I don’t know what got into Lan-kai to make her go this route, but we’re looking for an eating disorder therapist.

Even stranger are the times toys dress like other toys. For example, there’s an Aurora doll (for the princessly challenged, that’s Sleeping Beauty). However, one of the fairies — Rosetta — likes to dress up as Aurora. So Aurora will be paraded around, and heaven forbid you call her Aurora because honestly, keep up people — it’s Rosetta pretending to be Aurora. Similar “costume changes” will occur with multiple dolls, and pretty soon Mr. Embee’s head explodes. I, being female, have an enlarged gossip gland and can handle this pretty well (Rosetta was dressed like Aurora and Fawn wanted to play, too, so she was pretending to be Snow White, but then her hair wasn’t the right length so she decided to be Cinderella, but put Ariel’s dress on because she likes pink the best. So Fawn is Cinderella in Ariel’s clothing. Duh.)

I really think this is good practice for her. It means she’ll be able to keep my medications and various doctors straight and notify the authorities calmly when I wander away from her house at age 105, delirious and wearing nothing but Rapunzel’s wig.

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10 responses to “A Rose by Any Other Name

  1. At which point, you would simply be Old Lady Embee pretending to be Lady Godiva wearing Rapunzel’s wig, sans horse. Should be easy enough to find.

  2. This is way too funny. I have to visit you sometime to hear the words straight out of the horse’s (I mean little girl pretending to be a teenager wearing a tiara’s) mouth.

  3. I can totally follow! I have 4 little imaginations running wild at my house and it only gets really strange when the boys’ toys mix inappropriately with the girl’s toys. Overall, the “Laddy” over here stays as far away as he can.

  4. I can relate…

    Except in my world, it’s Lego Indiana Jones, wearing Darth Vader’s cape and Joker’s wig (and a whip, of course).

  5. lmao! oh i love it!

  6. Outstanding! I laughed out loud as I realized how different life is as a mom of boys. I think my “enlarged gossip gland” is slowly shrinking away. . .

  7. Very Funny, Happy Fourth Boo-lie!
    😉

  8. haha Super funny. I’ve always loved Fahdi Octopus Donkey.

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