On Sunday, Mr. Embee and I will huddle together on the couch and watch as our beloved show of six years, Lost, comes to an end. Then we’ll comfort each other. Then we’ll sign the divorce papers.
Nah, probably not that last part. But the Mr. did point out that Lost has been on for our entire marriage. He added, wide-eyed, “What if it’s the glue holding us together?” That probably sounds ridiculous to normal people but with us, it’s totally possible. If you don’t have kids, you can get married and continue to do lots of stuff — leave the house, for example. But after 8 pm, parents are stuck. We can’t go out together unless someone babysits. Also, we can’t stay awake past 10. We know we’re pathetic, but it’s life.
So the Mr. and I are trapped in our house, leaving us with several options: Talk about how dirty the house is and how we’ll clean tomorrow night; talk about Sally and/or work; totally ignore each other and work on blogs and Sudoku puzzles; play Scrabble; or watch TV. I get a little bent out of shape over Scrabble, and there’s only so much talking and blogging one can do, so that leaves TV. And Lost is the kind of TV that brings families together. We routinely stay up hours later than we should to discuss the events of an episode. We argue over plot points, we theorize. . . . We’re nerds. (It’s not like we’re the only ones. President Obama did reschedule his State of the Union address to avoid conflicting with the Season 6 premiere. I knew I liked that guy.)
And now they’re taking our nerdy toy away! We’ve been married six years, which means we’ve got 44 more until the deal is off (I promised 50 years or life, whichever is shorter) and I have no idea if we can fill up a tenth of that time without the help of a quality television show. So networks, get cracking. We’ll keep it together over the summer with Netflix, but come fall my Tivo–and my marriage–is going to be starving for something new and exciting. Give us something good. Countless couples with children may depend on it.