Sugary Goodness

Easter. I think it’s over now, but I won’t really be sure until Sally comes off the insulin drip and stops hallucinating about Jell-O. Only then will we be able to assess the permanent damage, including the fact that she now knows what Skittles are.

In our little family it’s less about Jesus rising from the dead and more about children rising five feet up the wall. And at 3, Sally really got the meaning of the holiday this year. Our day basically consisted of this repeated scene: Child sees that the Easter Bunny has visited, child screams “CANDYYYYY!” with glee, child de-foils milk chocolate bunny at lightening speed and eats rapidly melting ears at 6:08 a.m. — it’s moments like these that the Mr. and I put our arms around each other and really congratulate ourselves on the super job we’re doing as breeders.

But when you hear what I did on the two-hour ride home Easter evening, you’ll understand how a child turns out like her. The three of us were packed into the car, carefully wedged in amongst seven kilos of sugar hidden in plastic eggs. And leftover macaroni salad, but that’s for me. I sat in the back with Sally (something I haven’t done since she was a few days old) because it was clear as we left town that sugar withdrawal was setting in. And any parent who has encountered a Non-Napping Preschooler knows that you DO. NOT. Let. The Child. Fall. Asleep. At 5:00 p.m. . . . . Ever.


If you do, she will be up until tomorrow at lunch. So I rode in back, and people, I brought it. I played with miniature animals, I read stories, I played “guess what I’m drawing,” I tickled. Despite my most annoying efforts, Sally’s eyes repeatedly rolled back into her head and eventually (Curse you, Jelly Bellies!) her eyes closed. And I could not get them open. So I rummaged around in the back seat, all the while voices in my head yelling “We’re losing her!” And I found it.

A neon pink Peep. I wafted it under Sally’s nose like smelling salts. No luck. I rubbed it on her lips, hopeful a grain of sugar would absorb and jump-start her system.

“Sally, wake up! Eat a marshmallow!”

Did her finger move? YES, it did! And then, the eyes open. “Here Sally, eat the marshmallow. And help Daddy look for a Starbucks–we’ll go get a hot chocolate.”

Yup. I got my child high to keep her awake for 90 more minutes. And it worked. She’s sleeping like a baby at 7:30 p.m. So there.

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10 responses to “Sugary Goodness

  1. Oh! I can soooooo relate! It’s been a few years now, mine are 19, 15 and 11, respectively. But still, at their ages, if they nap late in the day, you’re toast. They want to be up till 3 AM. The whole schedule is totally fried for the next week, and getting them up in the morning for ANYTHING is all but impossible!

    It’s ok, Mom, a little sugar high won’t revoke your Mom-license, it won’t even earn you a stern look. Most of us out here just chuckle and raise our hands. “Yup, been there!”

  2. When I saw your title today I knew it was going to be a good one. The first thing out of my daughter’s mouth this morning when she charged into our room and vaulted onto the bed was I WANT CANDY WHAT DID THE EASTER BUNNY BRING TODAY.
    Easter was yesterday, I explained, which resulted in a fit of rage that has only slightly subsided 3 hours later.

  3. My almost-2-year-old discovered peeps this Easter! It was world-changing (in her eyes).

  4. I miss the days of talking my son down off of the ceiling fan. Oh wait…I still have to do that. Great post! I like you.

  5. LOL hahahaha love it like always.

  6. Jennifer Lovold

    I’ve been guilty of the same thing many times over the years. Hilarious to hear someone else describe it. Love it!

  7. Even though mine are 8, 12 and 17 we still enjoy a spring Sunday once a year where it is all about every way one can use sugar. Jelly Beans, chocolate, marshmallows, it doesn’t matter as long as there is some fresh bread and cheese to keep us from hurling. If the sugar high from Easter was measured like alcohol we would be at 3x the legal limit and we don’t care…. chocolate rocks!

  8. Thank you for the actual laughing out loud. Both my wife and I laughed hard at this. Awesome.

    It’s amazing the things we do as parents. I don’t remember any of these things in any manual I read before I had children.

    • Glad you liked it! I think my life goal is to make people snort when they laugh. So if that ever happens, let me know. I’ll be thrilled.

  9. Just laughed out loud while in clinic. Outstanding. I don’t know a single parent who couldn’t relate to the sitting in the backseat with all the entertainment to prevent the 5:30pm post sugar no-nap car nap. Just love it.

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