Sally hates our cleaning people. Yes, I have cleaning people–how else do you expect me to keep up this blog thing and watch all the TV? They come every two weeks and take care of things that make Mommies sad–such as mopping the unidentified sticky spot off my kitchen floor that No, I am not taking care of today because the cleaning people are coming tomorrow.
I love these women enough that I would harbor any illegal immigrant relatives they need to stash. But Sally despises their visits. When we come home from work and daycare on Cleaning People Days, it goes a little something like this:
Sally: “What is that smell?!”
Me: “It’s the smell of heaven, which is very sanitary.”
Sally: “It smells yucky. It smells like cleaning people. HEY! WHO moved my stuff?!”
And then she stomps around the living room moving toys back to whatever spot she thinks they belong in, shifting pillows, muttering about people ruining her life. I just go to the kitchen and lick the floor for a while.
Seemingly unrelated to this is the fact that every year, leprechauns come to our house on St. Patrick’s Day. They do sneaky things like turn our milk green and flip chairs over. Even as a 1-year-old Sally would think it amusing for a minute, then go about straightening things up. You just can’t mess with the girl’s stuff. So when I realized our cleaning and St. Patty’s Day planets align this year, I said maybe the leprechauns would come with the cleaning people to clean our house.
I may as well have suggested we celebrate birthdays with lots of leafy green vegetables.
No sooner had the look of disgust crossed her face then she had a moment of brilliance. “Let’s trap them!” I thought she meant the cleaning people and wondered if I was raising a little Dexter. We cleared that up and crafted a lovely leprechaun box trap (my first), securing highly valuable copper-plated zinc American currency to the trip. I keep trying to explain that those leprechauns are very tricky and they often escape traps, leaving a treat instead. Sally will have none of that. “They will not escape MY trap. They will get stuck forever and I will tell them they CAN NEVER GET OUT!”
Isn’t she sweet?
So come St. Patrick’s Day morning, the leprechauns will have visited once again. Well, I assume. How would I know? I’m just a loving mother who would never move her kid’s toys around in the dark of night. I just hope when I get home from work I don’t also find that Sally has managed to duct tape the cleaning people together in her closet. That would be awkward.
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