February 1 was Work Naked Day. I KNOW, if only someone had sent a memo, right? Don’t worry, there are plenty of other important days this month.
Feb. 6: Dump Your Significant Jerk Day. Likely intended for those who still have a hope for romance in their future, but I’m also hereby giving all the carpool moms license to tell off the parent who snickers at the empty Doritos bags on your car floor.
Feb. 7: Man Day. Redundant, I agree, but maybe it’ll help a few ladies avoid a coronary when we cram garbage into the still-full, reeking trashcan, because we refuse to give in and do the one chore we require of the men in our lives. It’s Man Day. Let it go today. You can shrink all his shirts in the dryer tomorrow.
Feb 11: National Shut-In Visitation Day. Now how are we supposed to manage that? Have YOU ever seen a shut-in?
Feb. 14: Valentine’s Day, but more importantly, National Condom Day. As someone who got knocked up one February 14th and consequently writes an annoying mommy blog, I give this important day my highest recommendation.
Feb. 20: Love Your Pet Day. No mouth kissing, though, okay? That’s gross.
Feb. 21: National Sticky Bun Day. Also known as the day even the shut-ins come out to visit their local pastry shops.
Feb. 22: World Thinking Day. Right-wing groups do not observe this.