Can You Smell Me Now?


I’m not a scent person. I don’t like scented candles, most perfumes, or weird flavored lotions. They’re gross. But these days every personal care product is scented. All I can do is hope to combine the scents to create a pleasing recipe.

Now, in all likelihood I could go to some hippie store Trader Joe’s and find an organic, unscented deodorant with no chemicals, animal parts, or apostrophes used, but I’m too cheap and lazy for that. I’m at the mercy of whatever Costco is selling this month. So right now, I have:

cucumber crisp antiperspirant
very berry shiny shins razors (Now with an exfoliant!)
baby’s butt antiwrinkle cream (Actually made from and scented with baby toosh.)

When I was pregnant I tried lotion with cocoa butter (a stretch mark prevention myth) and nearly vomited. It was almost as bad as as the sugar cookie lotion a friend once gave me (that’s not a joke). My shampoo is pretty basic and just smells clean, so that’s good. Every so often I experiment with shampoos and end up spending the day wondering why my office smells like basil, or chocolate (not the worst) or ginger. Sally has a hair detangler that reeks of green apple. Otherwise she smells like sunblock. Mr. Embee’s deodorant is labeled “ocean surf” which I actually like but think the name is pretty ridiculous. Who ever wanted to smell like surf? I mean, maybe 40 years ago but with all the pollution now? I don’t think so.

When you put our little Embee family together, we smell. We are a cucumber and berry salad served with buttered apples at an ocean-front picnic where a shampoo bottled spilled in the surf and everyone, including the naked babies, is wearing sunscreen. Delish.

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One response to “Can You Smell Me Now?

  1. Hey! Come over here. My girls are allergic to chemical fragrance. Believe me, when you go five years without putting conditioner in your girl’s hair because you can’t find one with out fragrance, have to read every label of anything that might come into contact with them (that includes products we use), and have to smell like “people” all the time, you would be grateful for the freedom you have to smell like anything nature (or a chemical laboratory) can create!

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