July 2 is National I Forgot Day (really) and I am stoked about it. If you didn’t know about this holiday, don’t worry, you probably just forgot. I did extensive (not really) research on IFD and it seems there are two main ways to celebrate: you can use the day to temporarily forget something negative that brings you down; or you can express regret for all the important things you forgot about over the year. You can buy “I forgot” e-cards (You know, for forgetting Mother’s Day—that’ll totally make up for it.), send flowers, or take your kid to the Bethlehem Public Library in Delmar, N.Y. The library is holding an IFD event for kids—youngsters can make cards for their parents’ anniversaries and other dates a kindergartener might overlook and, clearly, should feel guilty about. I just hope their parents don’t forget to take them to the library.
However, I think all these people are missing the point. It seems obvious to me that I Forgot Day is the ultimate opportunity to get out of stuff with zero repercussions. I forget a lot (a lot) since having a kid. This brilliant holiday will allow me 24 hours of guilt-free behavior and the priceless opportunity to push my forgetfulness to its full potential.
I fully intend to forget to make dinner on July 2. Was that big work deadline today? Eesh, sorry, I forgot. Did I work out today? I’m sure I did and simply forgot. If I were a California official I might forget to work on our budget woes—and why shouldn’t I since Governor Schwarzenegger forgot to take economics. The whole thing does beg one question: If I forget and then you forget that I forgot, did I every really forget? . . . Actually, this is looking excellent for the government.
So go ahead: Forget to make the kids a healthy dinner and just eat sundaes Thursday night. Forget the route to your office and skate in around noon. Book that Hawaiian vacation (you can’t be faulted for forgetting you were supposed to visit the in-laws that week). Hand the stinky baby to your spouse (he just forgot he said he’d change diapers today, right?). Forget you’re supposed to be saving money and go enjoy a little retail therapy. Or just forget how many glasses of wine you’ve had and pour another. If my theories are correct, you can’t lose.
Thursday. Don’t forget.