Bringing New Meaning to Food Preservatives

I rummaged around in my purse for a snack the other day (there was crazed midget near me being tortured with food deprivation. She has rotten parents.) and found a tangerine. Perfect, right? Unless that tangerine has managed to dehydrate and harden into a leathery lump. Like most moms’ handbags, lots of things go into mine but usually only money comes out. (Remember what was in there the last time I went on an archaeological dig?) The layers upon layers of receipts, Kleenex and crayons created the ideal conditions for a tangerine to totally and perfectly fossilize in a mere three months. Oh yes, I can date the fruit. It’s science. (Check out the Happy New Year sticker on it.) This is the historical find of the year, I tell you.
Mom-Colored Glasses is going on spring break! Regular posts will resume after my week of nearly nude, drunken fun in Miami with college men. Or, you know, I might get the oil changed and clean some closets. Still deciding.